


A lingering delusion

by BlooBlu



Series: Soul Strings are Awful, a Novel by Logan Sanders [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Birthday, Contemplative Thinking, Does it count as self-doubt, Emotional, He's certainly not thinking for himself, Idk it's sad?, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:53:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23537155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlooBlu/pseuds/BlooBlu
Summary: Inspired by an art piece by @illogicallyinclined on tumblr.Maybe I'll add more later. Maybe I won't. I just had to get this out of my system ;P
Series: Soul Strings are Awful, a Novel by Logan Sanders [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718719
Kudos: 38





	A lingering delusion

Red. 

Yellow.

Green. 

Blue. 

Purple. 

Nearly a complete rainbow. Objectively, he should find them quite pretty. Not many have such vibrant soul strings or so many. He _should_ feel grateful, happy, excited. These are common feelings upon one’s strings becoming visible on their thirteenth birthday. It is disheartening and often considered shameful to not have a soulmate. It is a societal norm that, objectively speaking, should make him feel many emotions, and positive ones at that. 

Staring at each string, tied to each finger of his nondominant hand… all Logan experienced was an unwavering emptiness. He feels no desire to seek out or to actively avoid his soulmates. There is no joy nor fear. 

Logan feels nothing but the nearly undetectable sensation of the soulbonds tied to him. A weight not felt or remotely acknowledged. 

. . .

Unsurprisingly, most do not discover their soulmates right away. It is rare to meet your life partner or partners so young. But a few do, and Logan feels a lingering sense of relief that all five of his strings remain loose all throughout his high school years - never once pulling taut in the telltale sign that a matching string is nearby. 

He feels nothing for the five individuals he has not met. 

It would be impractical to harbor any emotions towards anyone he has not met for himself.

It is also impractical to experience hatred for inanimate objects, and yet Logan finds himself more and more disgusted with the soul strings tied to him every day. 

A rainbow. How childish. 

. . .

He has developed an unhealthy habit of picking at the strings on his hand. Trying to loosen or untie them, perhaps. It is a subconscious wish at most. That it would be such an easy task - just to untie or rip them from his hand. 

Logan has tried. Either they are too sturdy or he is not strong enough. As far as scientists around the world are concerned, a soul string is the strongest substance to be discovered. They do not snap or fray. There have been attempts to break through but they were all as fruitless as trying to cut through light. 

He tries anyway. Irrational. Illogical. 

He uses mere office scissors. 

Taking each string and pulling them close together (there’s nothing to hold them down with, he uses his teeth. how barbaric.) he brings the scissors up to the point where each string is pulled so close they might as well be one. 

**Snip.**

The blades pass clean through. No damage is done. It’s as if the strings themselves were never there, and yet he can still feel the sensation of them between his teeth and lips. How peculiar. 

Sometimes he makes similar attempts when he is stressed or feels particularly hateful. It is as therapeutic as it is maddening. 

...All of it is so irrational and pointless. He doesn't want soulmates, but he should. He wants to know who they are, but he should be focused on more important things. He should he should he _should..._


End file.
